“Breathe mama, breathe! Don’t push, mama!” the nurses said as my husband wheeled me into the quiet Labor and Delivery unit. I moaned with fervor as I felt the next contraction. I couldn’t help but push! What did they mean? Don’t they know it’s automatic? Thus began the “delivery” portion of my labor and delivery experience. Little did I know that soon my labor would end and I would meet my daughter in less than 20 minutes. Let’s rewind to the day prior.

The Calm of a New Day Dawning

During my second middle-of-the-night trip to the bathroom, I placed on the table the Valentine’s cards and candy I bought for my husband and bonus son. I wanted them to start their day with a sweet surprise. At 39 weeks pregnant, I didn’t feel energetic enough to make heart-shaped pancakes or anything cute like that, but I wanted my family to know they are thought of and loved. I got up on February 14, 2024 feeling excited for Love Day and the start of Lent. My husband, Reyes, and I walked as we had been doing regularly. After my walk, I went to the bathroom and saw the bloody show. I told Reyes and felt a little excited that maybe I would have my baby on my due date: Sunday, February 18^th. From what I had read, losing your mucus plug doesn’t mean that labor will start immediately, it just means that labor is near – it could still be a few days away. That morning, I wanted to stretch and strengthen so followed a yoga video. I felt good. My cousin, Wendi, called to check on me but I didn’t tell her that I lost my mucus plug. I just said that I was feeling good – still pregnant but that I thought the baby would be coming soon. I wanted to avoid having multiple check in calls with no baby to report.

Ish Gets Real

Since it was Ash Wednesday, we went to church and received our ashes. I recall feeling a surge that felt stronger than the Braxton Hicks contractions I had become accustomed to feeling. However, I didn’t think much of it; I walked back to the pew and said a prayer. Service ended quickly and we came home. Reyes asked me if I wanted to eat dinner at home or go out. I told him I wanted to go out for Valentines. He reserved an early dinner at the restaurant where he began his career: Red Lobster. He ordered the shrimp skewers and I ordered surf and turf (pregnant women are allowed to eat meat during days of abstinence) and a virgin cocktail. During the dinner I felt the slightly stronger contractions, but I didn’t think much of it. After dinner we went to Robbins Brothers to get our wedding rings cleaned. As we waited, we talked to a couple who had a five-month-old child. They wished us well once they learned our due date was quickly approaching. Then we came home once our rings were cleaned and brilliantly sparkling. We settled in for the evening and I decided to run a bath to help with the contractions. My doula told me two opposing things about taking a bath:

• It’s risky because you won’t know if your water breaks since you’re in water
• It can help you distinguish true labor from false labor as your contractions will slow down or stop if it’s false labor. If it’s true labor, you’ll continue to feel contractions.

With this in mind, I soaked in my Dr. Teals bubble bath with my rose scented candle burning. To my surprise I continued to feel my contractions in the bathtub, so I was sure that I was officially in labor. Shortly after stepping out the tub, I received a phone call from my 100-year-old grandmother and my uncle. They wanted to check on me and I told them that I thought the baby would arrive soon. I didn’t tell them that I suspected I was in labor because I didn’t want to get them excited. The contractions felt stronger while speaking to them, so I ended the phone call and began watching “Death Note”. Watching anime shows had become our nightly ritual; our way of winding down before bed. However, the contractions grew in strength by the second episode, and I told Reyes that I could no longer concentrate. He suggested we go to bed so that I could have energy to push out the baby. It was about 9pm. I agreed; changed my clothes; tied up my hair and lied down in the bed. There was a problem – I could not sleep. The pain was growing in intensity. I decided to sit on the couch and time my contractions using the Baby Center app. I used this app throughout my pregnancy for weekly guidance on how baby was developing. The app has a kick counter, storage for your cute baby bump pictures, baby name database, etc. Once my contractions were averaging about five minutes apart, I called the Labor and Delivery (L&D) unit at my hospital. It was 10:50pm. The nurse told me to continue timing my contractions and call back when they were about two to four minutes apart, when I couldn’t speak nor walk anymore. I went back to bed and tried to rest as best as I could. A few things helped me labor at home:

• The room was dark except for the green light emitted from our Vicks Vapor Rub plugin.
• I focused on different points in the room
• I took mindful breaths, following the guidance from various YouTube videos
• I stopped calling the sensation “contractions” and instead, called them “waves” or surges”
• I took control of my thoughts and recited affirmations
• Periodically, I walked to the bathroom, sat on the toilet using my squatty potty for support
• I played relaxing music through the Calm app

During the night, I had dark thoughts and questioned whether I wanted to have more children since the pain felt intense. (If you’re a first-time mother-to-be, the pain is akin to strong menstrual cramps.) To combat the dark thoughts, I told myself “I am going to meet my daughter soon.” Reyes reminded me that “this is good pain.” I reached out to Reyes a couple of times as he slept since I desperately needed the comfort of his touch. We called L&D again at 1:40am. I had been tracking my surges for 30 minutes at that point and they were between two and four minutes apart. The nurse told us to track for another 30 minutes, then call back. She also told me I could take Tylenol for the pain. (The Tylenol provided zero relief; in case you’re wondering). We called back at 2:10am and the nurse asked me if I lived close to the hospital. I replied that I did not. She warned me that I would not be admitted unless I was four centimeters dilated. She advised I continue to wait since I was speaking without trouble. She reminded me to come in if my water broke. Thus, we continued to wait at home. Reyes made me lemon ginger tea, but I could only drink about half of it. We went back to bed. Around 3:30am I felt a gush so I went to the bathroom to check. Things looked the same but I woke Reyes and told him that I thought my water had broken. He helped me get dressed then my water broke. Suddenly I felt wet and my sweatpants felt soggy. I felt disgusting but I had no energy to change my pants as the water breaking brought more intense waves.

The Longest Drive of My Life

I was dreading the drive to the hospital. We lived about 30 minutes away in decent traffic. Fortunately, given the time of the night (morning) the streets were empty. Reyes’s mother stayed with me while he packed the car and moved it closer to the house. I continued to feel surges and moaned as I beared the pain. These surges were more intense but I preferred them since I had more time to rest in between. With the previous waves I never felt like I could get adequate rest during the intervals. At this point, I felt my body pushing on its own. As they helped me to the car, I thank God I had the presence of mind to ask them to grab a towel (‘cause no one’s trying to clean that mess later, haha). Then began our drive to the hospital. Each time I felt a surge, I squeezed Reyes’s leg. I asked him to dial my mother’s number for me. He handed me the phone and I calmly told my mom that my water had broken and we were heading to the hospital. Google directed us to exit the freeway at LaTijera which Reyes asked me about. I told him I normally exit at LaCienga. He followed Google which added more lights to our drive. (Ugh.) Once we were off the freeway, I began feeling a different sensation during my waves. I thought I might be feeling the baby crown but I didn’t dare tell Reyes; just like he didn’t tell me how long the drive would be to the hospital. Instead, I gently encouraged him to run some yellow lights. To my dismay he did not heed my recommendation.

Joy Comes in the Morning

Finally, we arrived at the hospital at about 5:15am. We participated in a hospital tour the month prior and knew what to do during the big moment.  Reyes temporarily parked the car, brought me a wheelchair and wheeled me up to the fourth floor, L&D unit. Two nurses were on duty and told me to breathe and not to push (I can’t help but push); asked me my medical record number (it’s ****); asked me if this was my first pregnancy (yes). Mercifully, one nurse told me she’d helped me get dressed and examine me. Reyes went to park the car and I went to the bathroom with the nurse.

“Can you urinate in this cup?”

I think so.

After about one minute of trying, she told me to get off the toilet because she didn’t want me to give birth sitting on the toilet. I obliged and walked to the room where she examined me and gave me the best news: “You’re fully dilated and the baby’s head is right here.” (Praise the Lord!) As I was being wheeled into the delivery room, Reyes returned from parking the car. I told him the happy news. Once we arrived in the room, they had me switch gurneys and placed an IV in my arm. They asked me the same questions again which I was annoyed about. I suppose they were trying to distract me as they waited for the doctor to come to the delivery room. To my disappointment, they had me lie on my back and place my feet in stirrups (like you see in the movies). I did not like this position at all because I felt I lost my power. I would have preferred to give birth while squatting. However, I did not have the energy to protest as I just wanted help getting this baby out of me (laughing but serious)!

The doctor arrived a few minutes later. She had a joyful, kind spirit. She introduced herself and asked me whether I wanted her to tell me when to push or to push when I felt the surge. I opted for the latter. She told me to hold my breath for nine seconds when I pushed. Reyes took my hand and told me to look at him (rather than at the action). In that moment, I felt a new resolve and I knew my strength. I had come to the end of my labor and I confidently sensed in my spirit the power I possessed. I thought to myself: I can do this. Although the doctor told me to hold my breath, I let my breath go the first two times. She and the nurses gently corrected and encouraged me. On the third push, I held my breath and on the fourth push, my daughter was born! My joy was complete.

They laid her on my chest and thus began our golden hour. Shortly thereafter I birthed the placenta and the doctor began to sew my tears. The nurse taught me how to breastfeed. Reyes and I soaked up these first moments with our daughter Reyna. About 30 minutes later, my mother arrived; she didn’t notice Reyna lying on my chest and was dismayed to have missed her birth. Once the golden hour was complete, they moved Reyna to the baby bed, administered the eye drops, etc. and took her measurements. The nurse had me raise up and placed a bucket underneath me. She then pressed on my uterus to expel any blood clots. Giving birth is a humbling experience. Perfect strangers see your intimate areas and meet you during your most vulnerable moments of life. You quickly get over the awkwardness when you’re in this precarious predicament. Besides, the L&D team do this regularly and couldn’t care less how your body behaves in the delivery room. I am grateful for the staff who brought my baby earthside. After delivery I was so thirsty and a nurse brought me a juice cocktail. Juice never tasted so refreshing and sweet! Then shift changed happened; I thanked the nurses and met a new nurse, Maya. She instructed me on how to use the bathroom for the first time. It involved a peri bottle to rinse and dab the toilet paper rather than wipe. She questioned why I waited so long to come to the hospital and I responded because I was told not to come. She cautioned me to come sooner next time around because labor is shorter with the second child. Next thing we knew, it was time to say goodbye to our delivery room and we were wheeled to Mother and Baby where we remained until the following afternoon. The next day we brought our beautiful baby girl home and life hasn’t been the same since. 😊   

On a final note, I want to encourage all women who desire to have a unmedicated birthing experience. It is possible. Labor hurts but it is bearable. Don’t let mothers scare you into thinking that you cannot handle the pain of childbirth. I believe mothers mean well, but they don’t know how their words can incite fear in a first-time mom. I did not want an epidural and although this is not how I envisioned my birthing experience, I am grateful for how it unfolded. Before I gave birth, I thought I had a low pain tolerance. Childbirth taught me I am more powerful than I realized. What will childbirth teach you?

I would love to hear your birth story. Please feel free to share your experience below.